
So....I'm not going to lie. Going to residential is a shock to the system for most people for the first time. I'm going to start with a list of things you might not be aware of yet. Not every residential treatment center is the same, so different places have different rules. However, best to be prepared for everything and then just be happy if you don't end up having to worry about it! Here we go.
- You (probably) can't have sharps on the unit. (Tweezers, scissors, mirrors, glass, etc.) Many people with EDs also suffer with self-harm urges, so it is best to keep them off the unit in general. On my unit they let us keep them in a drawer behind the nursing station so we could use them under supervision which wasn't that bad. Annoying, but understandable.
- The bathrooms are locked. Not only are the bathrooms locked, but you will have to work your way up to lessen the amount of supervision you need while using the bathrooms. On some units, they require you to count or sing songs or just speak to them the whole time you are in the bathroom so they can be sure you aren't using behaviors. On others they just make you let them flush for you and you can't wash you hands until you open the door and the counselor can watch you. Either way, get your stage fright figured out quick, dude.
- When they weigh you, they weigh you backwards. You will not be allowed to know your weight for the entire time you are in residential. You will likely not be allowed to know your blood pressure either. Or your pulse. Or anything else that is a number. Numbers are the enemy in resi. So, don't even try to ask. Use radical acceptance and move on. (You'll learn all about radical acceptance in one of the MANY groups you will be attending!)
- Meals are timed and highly supervised. Staff will be observing every move you make when food is involved. It can be really uncomfortable at first, as many people with EDs do not like eating with others watching them at all. It's part of the recovery process, though. Stick with it. It'll get easier and meals won't be as daunting after a few days, even less after a week. The benefit of them being so watchful is that you don't spend as much time thinking about urges. There is no way to get away with ED behaviors without being caught. Just go with the treatment plan and see where that road takes you. You might like the end result!
- Ask if you can bring your own bedding! Some residential's allow you to bring your own comforter, pillows, and sheets from home. If possible, bring whatever you can haul with you. Make your space there as comfy as possible. Decorate the walls with pictures of your family. If you have children or nieces and nephews, have them draw you a few pictures before you leave and hang them up for motivation when you get there. Some days are going to be rough and you might just need a space of your own to decompress. I'd suggest decorating it the day you get there if you are able to. (Don't forget pictures of your pets!!)
- Try to find some coping skills before you arrive. There will be plenty of supplies there that you can work with, but if you like to crochet or knit and you bring a big ball of yarn and needles with you, you'll have something to keep you occupied for your first day or two when it can be pretty overwhelming. Check out our coping skills page for other options - there are a bunch of suggestions on there from all of us for things that we found really helpful when we were in resi and still use at home. (As I sit here folding an origami elephant....)
- Bring comfy clothes. Sweatpants. Pajamas. Things with elastic waists or drawstrings. You can bring a few pair of jeans or what ever other "fancy pants" you own, but I'm telling you you are going to wish for something baggy down the line. You may go through points where your clothes don't fit the same way anymore, and it can be extremely anxiety provoking. Especially with everything else you are going through during treatment. Just throw on some sweats or a stretchy skirt and you're golden. Did I point you towards the coping skills page yet? Now might be a good time, too.....
- Netflix. Some treatment centers have wifi! You can use Netflix! And Hulu! You won't have to miss The Bachelor! Or Grey's Anatomy! (But really....who likes Grey's now that Derek is dead??) Movies can be great for de-stressing. They can get you out of your own head for a while when you're feeling overwhelmed. Don't overdo it though. Which leads me to my last bullet point.....
- COMMUNITY! The one thing that helped me more than all of the coping skills and groups and counselors and meds combined was the awesome community that was there with me fighting their own battles day after day. The first time I sat down to talk to them was the first time I had ever discussed my eating disorder with ANYBODY. It was always this horribly shameful thing that I kept hidden from everyone. I didn't want to freak anybody out and I didn't want anybody to judge me. When I told them a few of my worries and my fears I believe the response was "honey, join the club." The conversation kept going and it was like I had been transported to this alien planet where everyone there spoke ED. You didn't need to finish sentences because we all knew what you were talking about and how you were feeling about it because WE HAD BEEN THERE TOO. For a while, we got to exist in this little bubble of residential where we had this insane amount of support and connection with each other and we were cheering each other on and we were there to help each other back up when we fell down. No judgments. No need for secrets. Just unconditional acceptance and pride and hope. So, if you go to residential, put your bags down and decorate your room. And then high tail it to the group room/day room and introduce yourself to these people who speak this same language as you.
Good luck.
Blogs From The Inside
After conferring with fellow E-man (Ryan) today, we agreed that we should organize the older blog posts differently so that the ones from residential were accessible from the "When In Residential" page. We'll begin by putting what we have in chronological order...If you have any feedback or suggestions, please shoot us an e-mail. Thanks everyone!
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First Week
First 24 Hours Resi (Ryan K)
Day 2 Resi (Ryan K)
Day 3 Resi (Ryan K)
Day 6 Resi (B)
Second Week
Week 2 Resi (Ryan K)
Week 2.5 Resi (B)
Week 2.5 Resi (Ryan K)
Third Week
Week 3 Resi (Ryan K)
Fifth Week
Week 5 Resi (B)
Sixth Week
Week 6 Resi (Ryan K)
Week 6 Resi (B)
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________
First Week
First 24 Hours Resi (Ryan K)
Day 2 Resi (Ryan K)
Day 3 Resi (Ryan K)
Day 6 Resi (B)
Second Week
Week 2 Resi (Ryan K)
Week 2.5 Resi (B)
Week 2.5 Resi (Ryan K)
Third Week
Week 3 Resi (Ryan K)
Fifth Week
Week 5 Resi (B)
Sixth Week
Week 6 Resi (Ryan K)
Week 6 Resi (B)